My Hobbit-ness

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I've been Waiting.

For the words to come...

so I can be a writer again.

With something to say.

I've been avoiding writing because...

then I may have to face some of the stuff that makes life hard...
             and breakable...
                       and hurtful.

I started writing because I felt God wanted me to be honest and let my faulty life, my slip-sliding walk with Him be on display. 

Not because it is comfortable. 

Not because I like sharing my stubborn wrongs. 

Not because I like looking like I've failed more than I have succeeded. 

But, instead, because He wanted me to. 

Perhaps in my messiness others can see that the Christian walk isn't perfect. My prayer is that my translucent life will be comforting to someone who is seeking God's truth. I am a walking Poster Girl for the 'you don't have to be perfect to become a Christ Follower' bit of truth you have heard preached to you. 

So now, back to writing. Or avoiding writing.

We have found ourselves in a bit of a life dilemma. One of those 'one more things' that feels it may just break open a flood of tears that doesn't stop. It isn't a sudden surprise but instead a slowly creeping knowing. Not a knowing I wanted to have. 

We are praying God will give us a clear leading on our next step. I am secretly hoping for a neon sign or a certified letter saying: DO THIS! The Preacher Man has faith that would move hills but even he is feeling a bit mystified.

I am a planning with provision kind of woman. 
I like things to be safe...
                                  and comfortable...
                         and repetitive...
                               and constant.

I am not okay with shifting sands under my feet and moving floor foundations. I get nervous when there isn't a plan in place for our future. I am a creature who loves habit. 

I love my morning coffee and my fuzzy socks. I like the quilt that my grandma made and my comfy spot on the couch. I enjoy lunch with Raspberry Leaf Tea and checking the mail at 1:30. I really like it when my day runs in order.

I guess you could say that I'm sounding a bit like a Hobbit.

“Sorry! I don't want any adventures, thank you. Not Today. Good morning! But please come to tea -any time you like! Why not tomorrow? Good bye!”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit 

Adventure is not on my list of great wants. Take your Elven chain mail and Orc sword and be gone with you.

Yet I think in some small (or big?) way God is going to be bringing us to a new adventure. I don't want to face it and would rather hide in my Hobbit Hole having a cup of tea and a biscuit. With some chocolate.

 'I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone.'

'I should think so — in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!'
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

Hobbit Hole

The LORD has a plan though. It most likely does include making me late for dinner once or twice. It also includes so much more than that. It is a chance to put my belief, faith, and trust into action. 

In the book Why? by Anne Graham Lotz, she describes it this way:(emphasis mine)

"Because while belief is the consent of the mind and faith is a choice of the will, trust is a commitment of the heart."     

So my heart better get to trusting. Not that it is easy. Not knowing what will happen. Not knowing if we will fall or rise. If it will be harder before it gets easier.

 “It was at this point that Bilbo stopped. Going on from there was the bravest thing he ever did. The tremendous things that happened afterward were as nothing compared to it. He fought the real battle in the tunnel alone, before he ever saw the vast danger that lay in wait.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

So I think we will begin with the Going On. The taking of a step forward in Blind Obedience. Against what others may think or may say. Against what I would think or say. Does not God show time and again that those that trust Him do not go without His blessings? It is necessary though, to remember His blessings are not necessarily our wants.

 “Where there's life there's hope, and need of vittles.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

His blessings are there for us if we but wade through our shallow whys and why-nots. 

 “The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places.
But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now
mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

 We are going to step into the tunnel and see what the LORD has in His plan for us. Not my plan.

 “There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

The best part of the personal pep talk? You have all shared in it with me! So no more not writing because I don't have the words. No more being ashamed of my humanness. You are going to get a bare soul sharing of my inadequacies and on top of it I'll occasionally throw in a recipe or a tip. A beautiful picture and a way to be healthier. God will get the glory because it is all because of Him!

⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
⁹ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways    and my thoughts than your thoughts. ~Isaiah 55:8-9

Always Blessed,

Gretchen :)  

Quotes found at: Good Reads and Good Reads

Possibly Linking With:

Cornerstone Confessions

Raising Arrows 

Modest Mom Blog 

Deep Roots At Home

The Better Mom Monday Link Up

Frugally Sustainable
Raising Homemakers
Far Above Rubies
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
Wholehearted Home
Growing Home 

Wisdom Wednesdays and Link Up

No Ordinary Blog Hop

Frontline Moms Friday Fun
The Welcoming House

 Domestic Randomness~ Friday Fascinations

Courtship Connection
Living In the Shoe
Homemaking Linkup Weekend   
A Proverbs 31 Wife
All Things With a Purpose 
  

 

  




   

Attempting Organized Planning

I love planning. I like lists of any kind. I love beautiful, crisp pages printed with lovely colored designs. I like to see headings and titles with lines to fill in. I am a sucker for binder with quotes and calendars. I like to color code things and have labeled tabs and dividers.

Those are quotes and a couple love notes from my boys. :)

I like to search out the best of the best for planning pages provided by other planner type people. I have been known to even make my own if I can not find what I am looking for. I poured over websites all summer trying to find ways to make myself more organized. I printed and printed and printed some more! Determined to Be Organized.

Isn't it pretty?

 
With a family of seven, kids coming and going, husband working out of the zipcode most of the time and a homeschool I Need Organization.

I need a plan. I need a piece of paper I can checkmark things off of to say I accomplished something today other that brushing oatmeal out of Petunia's hair and duct taping the sink hose together. I need some guidance that says in non-threatening terms 'Number three under cleaning isn't checkmarked! Please clean the sheets this week!' or 'Prince Ray really needs to clean the cobwebs from his entire room and since he is out of underwear perhaps he could pick up his dirty clothes and place them in the laundry room.' I need to be reminded that the four loads of dishes, 3 loads of clothes hung on the line, bathroom cleaning, meals made, devotion read, homeschool lessons half finished and a moment of scheduled quiet time is A Great Day.

One of 10 calendars in my School Planner... yes 10.

I love lists. I have made lists since I could write. I suppose it helps me break down the million things that are in my mind into useable and workable mini-goals. Then I can systematically check them off or postpone them if I am feeling a bit like Scarlett O'Hara and don't want to think about it till tomorrow.

I do organizing chaotically. Often I have three list going at one time. Not the most productive to some folks but things do get done. Especially when I make Kid Cleaning Lists! :)

The problem is that I love the pretty printables but I can't make them all work. Out of all those beautifully colored daily goal sheets I printed in August when I was determined to break up my day and use every minute wisely I have used two. I couldn't schedule in the time to fill them out! I ended up changing my homeschool weekly planner sheet three times and I am still not completely satisfied. I have tried to plan menus and I just can not be disciplined enough to follow through! What if I don't want to make beef stew on Thursday?! What if we have unexpected company or the basketball game goes late and I can't make spaghetti and sauce?! I have then failed to follow the schedule and then I feel like I have personally failed. I need to find a chaotic-friendly, flexible, organization sheet. For everything.

Notice its is only half filled out... December was a bit lax...

With the coming of the end of the year and the continuation of our homeschool year starting up again in January I got the organizer itch. AGAIN. I'd like to challenge myself to do some more during the day that I want to get done and be okay with what I don't get done. I want to hone those three lists down to one I can manage.

So is planning is it not?

So I began the search and thought I'd share what I found!


If you Blog, here is a nice, simple, free, weekly planning sheet from Living Locurto! Or you could just sit down and write completely unplanned stuff like me....

Find it here.

This is a pretty basic Daily Goals sheet for free. Find it at Life's a Journal!

Freebie!

Plan of Attack for your day! I love these and they are customizable! Thank you Jessalyn at Desiring Virtue!

They come in many colors, too!

Also customizable are the Daily Docket sheets from Money Saving Mom!

Customize!!!

Gricefully Homeschooling has a Mom's Everything To Do List!

A sweet looking little list sheet. I like it!

This is the one for me. I have fallen head over heels with the simplicity of it. And it prints in black and white. ;) Thank you Ann Voskamp from A Holy Experience for the freebie.

Planning Love.

I will sip my morning coffee and fill out my Day's Draft.

I will set daily goals.

I will try to finish it all in the few hours we have during our turn in the sun.

And if I don't complete it... God will forgive my messiness.


Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)

 This post was featured at:

The WholeHearted Home!

Possibly Linking With:
Cornerstone Confessions

Raising Arrows 

Modest Mom Blog 

Deep Roots At Home

The Better Mom Monday Link Up

Frugally Sustainable
Artful Homemaking
Far Above Rubies
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
Wholehearted Home
Growing Home 

Wisdom Wednesdays and Link Up
No Ordinary Blog Hop
Frontline Moms Friday Fun
The Welcoming House

The Great Procrastinator

Oh how I have procrastinated on starting this blog. It has been on my mind for quite some time to get back to writing. Writing something powerful and controversial. Writing something meaningful. Writing something about my life and experiences. Goodness, Gretchen, write something. There may be a small gem of wisdom to impart here and there.

However, I can put off a nudge to do something like no one else I know. I have  proclaimed myself the Queen of Putting Off What Could Be Done... Ever! If ever there was a time in my life to procrastinate on a Holy Spirit Niggle it is at this Season of Life I'm surviving. My husband works out of town and is gone often, we have five children aged 2 to 16, we live a Brady Bunch Style family with mine, his, and ours (and scheduling that entails), and I homeschool. Clearly I have an excuse to not add ONE MORE THING.  I lack the time, the energy and the real culprit; (EEK! Official first confession in Blogworld) the confidence to put anything down on paper or ahem... type on the screen.

I mean, what if I say something that offends. Or, what if I am as boring as a lecture on the merits of the Fugi Apple versus the Braeburn Apple. What if I use there instead of their and the grammar police come and slap my wrist! Gasp!

The LORD doesn't stop though. If you ignore for too long it becomes like a buzzing mosquito in your ear and all things strangely and eventually direct you to THE CONVICTION or IDEA or PERSON that He is wanting you to deal with. It took about three years for me to start homeschooling after I got that first nudge. It took 18 months to start wearing skirts when I got that gentle niggle. And here I am about 9 months of avoiding the push to blog, finally starting. 

WOW. My LORD sure does loves me to put up with me and my 'no' and my 'not right now' complaining.

So I shall muddle through this new adventure and see where it takes me. I will strive to honor God in all my posts as I do in my life. I will share things I love. Things I find wonderfully helpful to myself and my family. Along the way I will hopefully grow in my love for God, my husband, and my family. 

In advance, I apologize to those I will offend but I guess being Christian automatically makes me one who stands apart in thoughts and deeds. I shall offend only out of love. To the Grammar Police: I will do my best to not break any comma, homonym, or spelling mistakes.

Now I shall leave off with a gentle sigh and go eat my Braeburn Apple......