Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

And I'm Back!

Hello Dear Friends!

What was an unintended mini hiatus has turned into two months away from my Blog-dom. Yikes!

Between the packing, unpacking, settling, learning, searching, vacationing, adjusting, gardening and all the living that has been happening around here the Blog had to be put on that back burner for a bit. We also squished in a wedding, two family reunions, a visit with great grandma, multiple softball and baseball games, a bit of sewing, a whole lot of a homemaking, and an enormous amount of yardwork. We are very blessed to have found a beautiful rental farm house on the edge of a town the size of pig's eyelash and I couldn't be happier with it. 

 God is Good.

All the Time.

 Blessed be the Lord,
    who daily bears us up;    God is our salvation. Selah
~Psalms 68:19


Pictorial Time Line: (May through June, including our vacation that was pre-emegency-have-to-leave-your-home planned. :))





























Bless the Lord, O my soul.
O Lord my God, you are very great. You are clothed with honor and majesty,

You cause the grass to grow for the cattle, and plants for people to use,to bring forth food from the earth,

~Psalms 104: 1,14


Blessings, Gretchen :)



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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

For the Bible Tells Me So

What I have been up to..................













Packing!

 We are moving to a beautiful rental farmhouse on the edge of a pretty little (and I mean little) town just a few miles down the road from our current home.

 We had been looking for a new home for some time due to my husband's job which takes him out of town. The thought had been to find a home in a more central location. With our blended family things like a move are never an easy decision. We weren't in  a huge hurry but we had been discussing it. 

We have found ourselves in a bit of a pickle.


This move was not however to get us all that closer to The Hubs but instead to move us to a home that is more rural (which we wanted), puts both Pirate Rob and Princess Peony in the same high school (life will be easier), gives us a transition house while we decide what our next step is with his job (there is a possible promotion in a city even farther away than he is driving now), and most importantly because what we thought was a small fix-it problem in our house has turned out to be a HUGE hidden problem. 

A problem we actually can not fix and must in fact leave our house so as to not potentially damage our bodies. We are leaving behind or throwing away many of our things. We are having to clean and vacuum everything that can leave with us. It has been a taxing, frustrating, humbling, exhausting, and emotionally wrenching experience. We are having to trust God, trust others, and ride out this storm to keep our family intact and healthy. 

 Through it all, God is in control and we as a family will grow closer to Him and each other as we sort through the next few months. My mantra has been Philippians 4:13:
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
and Matthew 19:26
 But Jesus looked at them and said, “For mortals it is impossible, but for God all things are possible.”

In my darkest moments when I was snot nosed crying out to God for a deliverance of this mess, when I was a swollen, red-eyed mess begging Him to wave His hand and make it all go away and disappear for me, I could not hear Him. My heart was so full of pain and anguish and frustration that I could not see a light at the end of this dark cave we are in. My pain, my hopelessness clouded my vision and deafened my ears. I was trying to fix it myself, to find anyway to keep us from having to give up our home, our things, and all the  stuff. 

I was trying to protect my pride. What will people say? What will they think? Is this mess my fault? Why didn't I know? I can't let anyone know... It is humiliating.

I believe what He was saying was simply... Wait. Wait and let Me work. Wait and let me lead. Wait for I know what is best. I will keep your family together. I will get groceries on your table. I will find you furniture. I will find the funds you need. I will grow your love for me.

I Will.

My job is to obey. Though it seems crazy. Though it is painful. Though I can not know the end result or even hear His voice there is a knowing. 

A knowing that it will be okay.

How do I know? Because the Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so!
Little Ones to Him belong;

They are weak

But He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me!

 Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus Loves me, 

The Bible tells me so!
 

For He Will Take Care of Everything Because He Loves ME.

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? 28 And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ 32 For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
34 “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today. ~ Matthew 6:25-34
Surviving


Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)

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Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Sound the Retreat


source


Sometimes I need to retreat. To pull back from the hurt and pain that comes with life.

 Retreat from the confusion of my own wants and desires. My weak attempt to make things work out.

 Sometimes I want to hide from everything. To cover up my head with my grandmother's quilt and not surface.

 Usually this is after I have railed aloud at God,  screamed at the top of my lungs for an answer to my needs, my wants, and cried until I am spent.

 Then I take cover.

 Retreat to the quiet of my head.

 Which is never really quiet.

 So I fill it with audio versions of the Book of Psalms because I am too weak to even read. 
I listen. I breathe. I fill myself with the words of David:

Psalm 4

Confident Plea for Deliverance from Enemies

To the leader: with stringed instruments. A Psalm of David.

1 Answer me when I call, O God of my right!
    You gave me room when I was in distress.
    Be gracious to me, and hear my prayer.
2 How long, you people, shall my honor suffer shame?
    How long will you love vain words, and seek after lies? Selah
3 But know that the Lord has set apart the faithful for himself;
    the Lord hears when I call to him.
4 When you are disturbed, do not sin;
    ponder it on your beds, and be silent. Selah
5 Offer right sacrifices,
    and put your trust in the Lord.
6 There are many who say, “O that we might see some good!
    Let the light of your face shine on us, O Lord!”
7 You have put gladness in my heart
    more than when their grain and wine abound.
8 I will both lie down and sleep in peace;
    for you alone, O Lord, make me lie down in safety.


There are times when my enemy is myself. My own thoughts that seek to bring me down. 
To be distraught and saddened beyond outside control is a mournful thing. 

So I sound the retreat.


When crying out appears to be met with deaf ears.
When Hope is a splendored thing that it seems is not meant for me.
When life has brought you to the place of a tauntly stretched guitar string and all you can hear is that high-pitched whinning and vibrating sadness; It Can Feel Like Just Too Much.

 Retreat to God's Word. 

Psalm 6

Prayer for Recovery from Grave Illness

To the leader: with stringed instruments; according to The Sheminith. A Psalm of David.

1 O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger,
    or discipline me in your wrath.
2 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing;
    O Lord, heal me, for my bones are shaking with terror.
3 My soul also is struck with terror,
    while you, O Lord—how long?

4 Turn, O Lord, save my life;
    deliver me for the sake of your steadfast love.
5 For in death there is no remembrance of you;
    in Sheol who can give you praise?

6 I am weary with my moaning;
    every night I flood my bed with tears;
    I drench my couch with my weeping.
7 My eyes waste away because of grief;
    they grow weak because of all my foes.

8 Depart from me, all you workers of evil,
    for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my supplication;
    the Lord accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies shall be ashamed and struck with terror;
    they shall turn back, and in a moment be put to shame.

 Find Solace in another who has cried for help. Who has been brought low by life and it's circumstances.

It may feel like God doesn't hear you. It may feel like you are alone. It may feel like all hope is lost. It may feel like He isn't helping. It may feel like you are drowning in your tears and that your string is going to break. 

 Find peace in His Word.
 Psalm 17: 6-8, 15
6 I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God;
    incline your ear to me, hear my words.
7 Wondrously show your steadfast love,
    O savior of those who seek refuge
    from their adversaries at your right hand.

8 Guard me as the apple of the eye;
    hide me in the shadow of your wings,

15 As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;
    when I awake I shall be satisfied, beholding your likeness.

Understand in your retreat, that He is still there. He still loves you. 
When your guitar string breaks, and sometimes it will, that is when He can restring you with newness. He can lift you up and hold you in an embrace of such Father Love you are once again whole. 

 For it is in the Breaking that we are than able to start to heal. It is in our weakness, our sadness, our faulty attempts that He is made greater.
2 Corinthians 12: 8-10
Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, 9 but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

Sound the retreat. Heal. Thank Him. And Move On. 

I shall be in Retreat for now.....


Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)

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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Tuesday's Gifts ~ Light


Light.
Here from the very Beginning of time.

For our benefit. So we can become time keepers.

Alpha and Omega

14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the dome of the sky to separate the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the dome of the sky to give light upon the earth.” And it was so. 16 God made the two great lights—the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night—and the stars. 17 God set them in the dome of the sky to give light upon the earth, 18 to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. ~Genesis 1:14-18

So we remember His Power.

His Protection. His Encompassing, Covering Love.

Trinity Lights

 16 Yours is the day, yours also the night;
    you established the luminaries and the sun. ~Psalm 74:16

Enduring forever. 

Sunrise, Sunset. 

Sunrise, Sunset.

Warm Embrace

 7 who made the great lights,
    for his steadfast love endures forever;
8 the sun to rule over the day,
    for his steadfast love endures forever;
9 the moon and stars to rule over the night,    for his steadfast love endures forever;

~Psalm 136: 7-9


In the End, we will Be Again. 

We will then Shine like the sun.

El Fin
43 Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let anyone with ears listen! ~Matthew 13:43
 And Our LORD will be all the Light we need.

23 And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God is its light, and its lamp is the Lamb. ~Revelation 21:23
Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)

All pictures are courtesy of my sister Sara Rose Nissen. 
Check out her artwork over at  as seen through my eyes.  

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Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Tuesday's Gift ~ Hope

Hope. 
 
Hope in the Lifting Up.
Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the Lord upholds him with His hand. ~Psalm 37:24

Survive.

Hope in the Assurance of our God.
 
Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God. ~Psalm 42:11

Turn your face unto the LORD.

Hope in the LORD as my God and My Ultimate Help in all circumstances.
 
Happy are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
    whose hope is in the Lord their God, ~ Psalm 146:5
Stretch.

Hope is a gift given by our LORD himself to encourage us on this journey called LIFE.
Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and through grace gave us eternal comfort and good hope, comfort your hearts and strengthen them in every good work and word. ~ 2 Thessalonians 2: 16-17
Every Good Work

We must only Seize Hope as we accept Christ as our Savior...
...we who have taken refuge might be strongly encouraged to seize the hope set before us. We have this hope, a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters the inner shrine behind the curtain, where Jesus, a forerunner on our behalf, has entered, having become a high priest forever... ~Hebrews 6: 18b-20a

Anchored Safely
I am Thankful for the Gift of Hope, an anchor for my soul to rest upon.
Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)

All pictures are courtesy of my sister Sara Rose Nissen. 
Check out her artwork over at  as seen through my eyes.  

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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Muddled Love* Forgiving Your Spouse







I was going to write a post on my favorite place in this whole big wide world. 


It is so beautiful that my pictures don't even come close to showing how amazing a place it is. My sister's photographs come close but there is something tangible in the air up North that you can really only see it and feel it when you are there.


 My grandparent's scrimped and saved and bought a small piece of land on a beautiful quiet lake. My grandpa built a cabin long before I was a thought in my mother's mind. She grew up in the Cities and spent her childhood summers heading up to the cabin on weekends with her parents and siblings. They hiked and swam and caught frogs and fished till they were bored and then did it all over again.

 The cabin stayed in the family and we got to spend a week or so every summer hiking and swimming and catching frogs and fishing... and then doing it all over again. We played in the water till our fingers wrinkled and scarfed down chocolate chip cookies and hot cocoa every evening. We would read books late into the night and then wake early to the smell of coffee and pine sap. The hummingbirds whirred out the front window and water lapped at the grass shoreline teasing us with the promise of a morning swim. Mom would take us to town just to window shop and peek at all the tourist trinkets that we never bought because we were like the locals. This was her other home. She was accepted as a regular.

 Somehow in all that regularness of our growing up, a love grew for this humble place. A feeling of Home. 

It is where I retreated so I could heal after my miscarriage. It is where I brought my babies and taught them to trust a life jacket. It is where I first tasted good coffee with my feet sunk up to ankle in cool, soft water. It is where I have cried out to God loudest because it echoes across the lake and sounds like a true declaration. I dreamed of the lily pads floating gently on shimmery lake currents while in labor with my children. My husband fished badly with my siblings here and was accepted. Dear ones we have loved and lost were invited into this secret and safe place. The Hippie Chick became my sister here in this sun dappled world of thick pines and leafy oaks. 



 My children have been enchanted by its sense of family. They feel the generations of feet walking the path from the front door to the dock. They respect the space and freely discuss topics that may have been left undisclosed. They have played board games, scarfed cookies and had cocoa for breakfast. They have hiked and swam till their fingers wrinkled. They have caught fish and found frogs. They have eaten marshmallows burnt off the stick and swatted mosquitoes. They have gladly shared air mattresses and sleeping bags all so we can vacation together. And then done it all over again, because they love this place. This Home.


There is above all, a feeling of family.

So that was going to be my post.

But then, as per my willingness last week to open my mouth about how I will write stuff even when I don't want to I figure I better finish this. You see, I have been withholding a forgiveness. And it revolves around this place I call Home. This little cabin in the woods.

 Last year was a rough year. I wanted to pack my bags and Move to The Cabin last summer just so I could run away. I desperately needed a vacation. I needed someplace where I could eat and swim and run and allow my children to be dirty faced and happy for a week or so. I needed to be free from the everyday drag my life sometimes gets caught up in. I needed to be in  place of quiet, with no electronic distraction and no sound of the garbage truck first thing in the morning.

 I am a stay at home, homeschooling mother with a Hubs that lives in a different town for his job more than half of the week and two teenagers in two separate high schools. I have a unique job description and it includes no time off, ever. There is no break from the daily grind. There is no relief from the pressure of motherhood. There is no back up. There is no one to throw my struggling teenager at when I need an instant answer. There is often no help when my toddler is teething, Sir Bean is acting out, and Prince Ray is lying to me. I never get a moment. 

 Unless, I am at the cabin. It is essential to my well-being. At least I can bring my crazy working life to a different atmosphere and things seem to be calmer there. They always behave better when they are out of their element.

 But last year was going to be Epic. I was going to get to go for a whole weekend. With my sisters, and Princess Peony. I was literally in tears of excitement over the whole thing. Time for me. With the girls! We planned some Bible readings, some crafts and girly stuff. We figured out recipes we could make with things the little kids and menfolk won't eat. Seriously. So Happy.

 The Hubs was going to take off work from a Thursday through a Sunday. The date set and planned months ahead of time. All was organized with the precision of an army planning for battle.

And then he changed jobs within his company. He couldn't take off. Not his fault. Just Life.

 It was impossible to find a way around it... I wasn't going. My weekend was not happening. 
I cried for days. I felt awful. Worse yet, nobody went. And I never got up there with my family or the kids either. 

 No break. No safe place. No going Home.

I realized as I was writing about my favorite place in the whole world that I had not truly forgiven him. It was mostly out of his control. It was not an intentional hurt. I think he felt bad. There was a series of miscommunication. It was easier for him to work with the new position than try to get the weekend off. It was a measured decision based on his job and the need there. In the end, it was the right decision.
However, what I felt was that my most desperately needed weekend was less important to him. That I was less important to him. That my needs and wants came after his. That he didn't understand.

I don't think that is true. But, that is what I felt at the time.

 Feelings, though are fickle aren't they? They can be true at the time but only to the beholder. Trusting in your feelings can be foolish.
How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple?
How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing
    and fools hate knowledge? ~Proverbs 1:2

Life is full of mishaps that step on toes, break hearts, crush spirits and damage feelings. We almost never mean to hurt the people we love. Not really. Life just happens.
How very good and pleasant it is
    when kindred live together in unity! ~Psalm 133:1
So on to that elusive thing called forgiveness.

I found numerous verses commanding forgiveness. They all apply to your spouse.

 Forgive with loving and kindness. That means no holding grudges. No halfsies on forgiving. Bury that hatchet and do not leave the handle out. Your husband does not need to hear about it over and over and over again. 
 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. ~ Ephesians 4:32
Forgive when you are bearing the complaint. Simply because the LORD forgave you. He is setting a high standard in which to follow. You need to forgive even if the complaint is valid. You need to forgive even if you are in the 'right'. Someday you will be in the wrong. You would want that some loving courtesy.
 Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord  has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ~Colossians 3:13
Forgive when your husband is repentant.  Even if it has hurt you to the core. You must forgive.
 Be on your guard! If another disciple sins, you must rebuke the offender, and if there is repentance, you must forgive. ~Luke 17:3
Forgive often. Forgive repeatedly.
 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?”  Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. ~Matthew 18:21-22

So what good is it? How does this motivate me to forgive a wrong or even a perceived wrong? If I forgive and they sin against me again, why do I need to forgive again? The LORD has given us pretty clear instruction.  We need to forgive if we want to be forgiven.

Think about this in a marriage relationship. We need to forgive and forget all the time. I am human and a messy person. He is human and a messy person. Together, we are not a recipe for perfection. We are the definition of messy marriage. If I want to be forgiven when I have wronged or hurt him then I had better well forgive him when he fails or wrongs me.

It is going to happen sometimes. This is real marriage. This is not a princess story. This Chubby Princess has a stubborn heart and sarcastic tongue. The Knight in rusted armor is temperamental when tired and quick to anger. Arrows on occasion are going to fly. So, forgive.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you;~ Matthew 6:14
We are also told that to foster friendship we need to forgive. In marriage, our spouse should be our best friend. How do you be best friends if one of you is holding a grudge? In my case, I was pushing that feeling aside. Once that cabin post popped up, all I could think about was how upset I still was over not going! I thought I had dealt with it. I never forgave. It was still there. It wasn't hurting him. It was hurting me. Essentially it was causing a friction whenever we talked about the cabin. I need to forgive him, even if he hasn't asked for it. Even if he didn't realize how bad he offended. Because, I don't want to alienate my best friend.
 One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend. ~Proverbs 17:9
Once more, to clarify. In a normal, healthy marriage. Where no one is getting hurt. Where no abuse is present. I would encourage you to pray for God's strength to forgive your spouse of any wrongdoings. Or perhaps even ask for forgiveness for your own wrongdoing. There should be no shame. We are all broken and damaged people. Asking for Forgiveness should be heartfelt but not demeaning. We all have fallen short. We are all asked to forgive.

 To my sisters who bear a much greater burden. I will say the same thing. You must forgive. I don't believe you need to be in that space being abused to do that forgiving. The LORD wants us to preserve life. The life of your children. Your life. Get to a safe place. Seek shelter within a Christian community designed to help your situation. Pray. Seek wise counsel and encourage your spouse to do the same.

"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." -Ruth Bell Graham

Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)
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