Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Hey Stepmom...


Stepmom.

 A word that comes with such visuals I shudder to use it. In fact I never describe myself as a stepmom.

 What comes to mind? Come on... you know.
Disney had a hook in which Stepmother was hung and it wasn't decorated with roses and pretty ivy. You can see her. Can't you?

source




Then you remember all the women in your life that are a stepmom. You think about the young family at church, that troops in a number of different ages of children, sometimes all together and sometimes just one or two. You remember your cousin married a woman with a child. You think about an older couple in your Bible Study group with a blended family and the Grandparents that are raising their grandchildren.

 It is so commonplace nowadays that we tend to forget how many step parents there really are. Our mind often links to the wicked stepmother in Cinderella that is abusive and evil. We remember the Wicked Witch that hates her stepdaughter's beauty and is so envious of her she wishes her dead! Unfortunately, now we are tainted in our thinking of the word.

source
The Preacher Man and I have a blended family. We often joke we are like that old Lucille Ball movie with a His, Mine, and Ours sort of lifestyle. The difference is we have other parents we have to deal with. We are not married secondly with children because of widow-dom. We were both married before. Married before we were Committed and Born-Again Christians.

 So even with those past sins forgiven we soldier on in this world we had created before. We are an example of the New Nuclear Family. We have Mom and Dad, 2 of Mine, 1 of His, and 2 of Ours. We also have Step Parents, Step Siblings, Half Siblings, And a set of Grandparents acting as Step parents. You almost need a drop down menu to follow the family trees leading to and from Our Family.

 We don't use titles such as Step Brother, or Half Sister. We say: Brother and Sister. We say: Mom and Dad. We have strove to provide a home that is without those titles that would seek to pull us apart or put walls in between our children. We have worked hard to make a united front in parenting, no matter what the other Parents say, we stand firm using God's Word as our guide. We act as a nuclear family as often as we can.

Young Mother and Her Children

We have known since the beginning that the odds are against us and that the 'norm' for families like ours are dysfunction and pain. Often this is found leading to a division of family that only exacerbates the problem and causes a cycle of building relationships, placing walls up, and then separating. As a couple entering into marriage with children from previous relationships we decided we would double and triple our efforts to place God as our centerpiece. We knew we would have to pray, and seek, and repent and then do it again.

 We have been optimistic in our approach. We have been honest with all of our children about details of our B.C. (Before Christ) Life and about some of our bumpy and rumply paths. We are a walking example of God's Unending Love and Grace. Of the possibility of a New Life as a New Creation in Christ. We are the Mess made Whole Through Christ. 

 We are not however perfect. We goof up. We sometimes miss the mark. 

Breakfast in Bed

We have some children who are living in between worlds. We have family dynamics that change depending on the weekend and who is home. Sometimes my youngest son is in the 'oldest' spot instead of his 'middler' or 'youngest boy' spot and he transitions well into and out of this space. My truly middle child is the oldest child at his 'other' home and that is a much bigger transition for him to bump back into when he is there. 

 There are different belief systems in these other homes, none actively Christian, and that can lead to confusion and frustration. When one set of parents  or guardians allows an act at their home but we do not it can be a thorn. When one set of children is told negative things about their siblings' nationality that can cause hurt and internal dilemma for that set of children. When what we say is Biblical Truth is contradicted by another set of parents we are left defending our choice. It can go on and on.

 In truth, I am not complaining. I am asking the Church to be understanding of a situation like ours. I am 100 % supportive of blended Christian Families. It is a ridiculously difficult path to tackle. We would have loved to be only married to each other, to have had a sacred honeymoon, and have all our children sharing the same last name and DNA. That would have been quite a wonderful thing. 

 That was not our path. Our path was scarred with life's trials and mistakes. With addictions and problems. There were bad choices and lots of painful results. We were broken pieces of clay waiting for the Master to search us out and place us together.

But there were three beautiful and amazing persons that came out of that B.C. Life. Three lives that are now committed to Christ. Three lives that we are raising, in the shared time we are given, to become strong doers and preachers of The Word. Three fantastically created children that have had one heck of a puzzle pieced childhood. They are resilient, strong in faith, discerning beyond their years, and all growing into the most hopeful of souls.

In Giji Park

So here we are. Carving a life out of that space in our Family Tree. Forming strong roots that dig deep for stability. Wrapping around the Rock of God's Word to keep us steady. We need to bend with the wind and storms. Bend and sway with those fights and personality disputes. Shake off the insults and the hurtful words from those 'other parents'. Drop leaves of regret and leaves of sorrow at all the things we can't live up to so we can look 'normal'. We let the bark grow thick over those spots where well intentioned Chritianese speaking folks have forgotten that we did live that Before Life and that we have no control over certain traits and things those 'other parents' bring to our children. 

 I am not gonna lie. When I see families with mom, dad and the 4 kids deciding to go on vacation I am jealous of the ease in which that happens. When we plan vacation, I have to notify no less than four other people! We then have to schedule it in, by playing my favorite game: Which weekend is mine and will you trade so neither of us loses any time? 
I am envious of families that can Live together, Move together, Adventure together. My husband works hours away to provide for us, but we can not move to live with him because of custody arrangements. I lose children or force them to choose. What mother can do that?
I am heartsick that I can not do daily devotions with all my kids, that our family worship is rarely as a whole family, that holidays are broken up into random dates circled on the calendar. I celebrate the days when we are all together and we can play a board game and eat popcorn and laugh like it is going out of style.

The Orphans

We are striving to tear down stereotypes. We do not see ourselves as halves or steps but as wholes. And yet.....
I am by definition a stepmom. 
I am also a mom. 
And I am also a mom whose children have a stepmom. 
I am not evil. I am not hateful. I don't want to steal a child or make a child a slave. I do want them all to respect me. To love me. To see me as just mom. 
Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children. Billy Graham
Reine Lefebre and Margot before a Window
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway. Erma Brombeck
 No one in the world can take the place of your mother. Right or wrong, from her viewpoint you are always right. She may scold you for little things, but never for the big ones. Harry Truman
Mother and Child

 I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
Abraham Lincoln

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavour by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. Washington Irving

So to you who are the definition of Stepmom, I say, you are mom. You are raising, loving, providing, comforting, and breathing your daily walk into that child. Act like the mother you are. Forgive. Be patient. Lose the labels and titles. Build the bridge. All that mom really wants you to do is love her children like they lived under your heart for nine months as well. 

For you who deal with a Stepmom in your child's life, I say, pray for her. It is a thankless job with little to no respect. Pray for her even when you don't want to. Pray that she is open to your suggestions. She knows she can't replace you, but she wants to make a great stand in. And she needs you to not bad mouth her in front of those children. She will earn the respect but she deserves the honor of parent if she is your stand in. She may even rise to the occasion.

Those who have the rare joy of being both, I know it is a tough job. I am living it. I know it is hard. But it is worth it. Pray. Pray for the Stepmom she is and pray for the Stepmom you are. And then be the best you can be in the situation you were placed in. God has given you a unique view of the world. Don't waste it being angry or petty. 

Realize how blessed you are to be heart touched by that child and to have the privilege to help raise him.

Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)

All quotes from: http://www.allgreatquotes.com/mother_quotes.shtml









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Friday, February 8, 2013

Purple Fur and the Silver Moons


This morning on my way to drop Princess Peony off at school we passed this group of youngsters trudging through inches of snow on a not yet shoveled sidewalk. One of those boys was dressed in an extremely out-of-date snowsuit. I could almost see the silver belt buckle in front that screamed 'I was made in 1985!" My heart went out to that child. That old hand-me-down snowsuit or pair of boots can be cause for extreme, elementary school persecution.

 I silently thanked God for Homeschool friends, Church Folk, Thrift Stores, and Clearance Sales.

 My children proudly wear thrifted items. We almost never buy things full price. I have been blessed with left over clothes and hand-me-downed closets on many occasions. God has always provided. We often receive things that are nicer than what I would spend money on.

We do have a few standards with the used clothes. No underwear. No inappropriate tees even if it was free. If they really hate it, and I can find it elsewhere, we skip it. If not, they wear it and become a better adult through a tough lesson. 

I think this stems from my year with the Purple Fur Coat and Silver Moon Boots.

My parents were very hard working folks. My dad sold seed corn and soybeans to farmers and as a result we moved from town to town as his job transferred him from area to area. I think often they had a lot to pay Peter and Paul was calling in his loan. 

My mom could make a divine meal out of potatoes, WIC cheese slices, and a bunch of celery. I think she excelled at making us feel full, warm, and rich in all the important things. She taught me to cook down a chicken, knead bread dough, and make a pound of burger stretch a mile and three quarters. She taught me to grab eggs from under an ornery hen, stay out of the goats way, and love the rabbits a bit less because they would be for supper someday. She taught me the beauty of a Marigold was as important as the first ripe tomato in July. 

 I never really knew we were poor. I knew we were loved.

 Then came the winter of my third grade year. I knew things were different in our family. It was my first realization of not having what others had. I did not have the cool jeans with rainbows on the back pocket. I did not have a polo shirt with a little embroidered horse on the left shoulder. I did not have pretty hair ties, or leg warmers, or Strawberry Shortcake erasers. My backpack was used and didn't have little beaded safety pins hanging from it. I didn't even have a friendship bracelet! My clothes were suddenly wrong even though they had always been okay.

The pinnacle of understanding my differentness came at the first snow. My coat didn't really fit. I remember standing in the local department store with my mother staring longingly at the beautiful ski jacket on display. It was one of those puffy jackets with the western style trim and pearly looking buttons. The top portion above the white piping was a darker blue and the bottom half lighter. It had a metal ring built in for your super cool ski gloves to hook on to. The jacket was shown with matching bib overall snowpants and a fun knit hat with a big fuzzy ball on the top. 

Man, did I want that jacket. I instinctively knew that the blue ski jacket would make me fit within the confines of normal. I could blend in seamlessly with the rest of the class. Ah, what peace it would be. I just wanted to blend in. To be unseen.

 I knew however, that it was not to be. I followed her out of the store still thinking about that jacket and about how my current coat was too short in the arms and the snow would get it and freeze up my wrists. My back peeked out if I bent over. My boots didn't fit and stunk like wet bread bags. With a 1/4 mile driveway to walk to the bus every morning that would start to be a problem awfully soon. Winter in Minnesota is merciless even in a mild year.

 Mom had been given some bags of clothes for us kids from some kind soul. It was probably a neighbor or church friend who saw my exhausted parents shuffling into service every Sunday dragging twin babies, a preschooler, and me lagging behind. We were always taken care of but I remember her looking so sad so often. Poverty can be a weary place for your soul. Still, God provided for us through my mother's diligent prayers and trust.

I can see the purple fur jacket peeking out of the bag in my mind's eye. It was a pinkish, purple, fuzzy fur. The coat was like a navy pea jacket with the square of buttons in front. There were four of them colored a dull brass like an old used tea pot. I think they were suppose to look like coins with a Roman solider on them. The really horrible part however, was the white, faux fur, trim speckled with black dots. I believe the manufacturer was going for a queen's robe meets a Roman sailor on the good ship Lollypop look.  

Oh, how I repelled inwardly. This was nothing like the sleek, shiny, blue ski jacket.

My mom held it up and judged the size. I knew it was mine. 

 So there was my winter coat. I was going to be the tail end of every joke the cool kids could come up with. My eyes filled but I did not show it. I knew I should be grateful to have a coat. The knot in my throat was so hard it hurt and I turned away.

 "Look! Boots, too!"

 With some apprehension I turned to see my new boots. Oh please could they not match the coat?!

 Oh they didn't match the coat. Nope. They didn't match anything. They were shiny, silver moon boots. Boy moon boots. With huge, thick heals and silver laces. They went clear up to my knees and glowed like a bad sci-fi movie. They needed a ski jacket and a boy!

 Really? Shall we just stick a Bull's Eye on my forehead?

 "Thanks, mom."

 I absolutely hated that jacket. I loathed the boots. However, I new it was the best my parents could give and I knew I shouldn't complain. (I am sure I did a bit....)

 I wore them.

 Grudgingly I admit, they were warm. I was teased. I was laughed at. It was embarrassing to be seen in. I stuck out like a huge purple, fuzzy, Ewok amidst the Sking Crowd. But, I sure was warm.

 The lesson learned: Be thankful in all circumstances.

What a gift that is. What an amazing lesson! What a work the LORD has done in my life with a lesson began before I even knew who He was.
 pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18

 So, sometimes, make them wear that ugly, old, out of date, piece of clothing. It builds character and thankfulness.

 Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)
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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Letter to My Daughter

My Dearest Princess Peony,

As I sit with my fingers perched over the keyboard knowing what I want to write but not knowing how to put such emotion to words I feel stuck in a paused moment. Where to begin in my letter to you when I have been there since the beginning? How do I place into mere words the things I should want to impart on you?

You grew near my heart. Always kicking and flexing your muscles. Even then I knew you would be strong. I felt in my blood pumping within me that you would be steadfast like our heartbeats. I knew you were a girl. A smallish me. A tiny pink breath nestled under my ribs, heart beating like a hummingbird's wings.

How has time flown so fast from then? I can picture your round infant face and shiny blue eyes. I can see your grin and hear the chuckling laugh you reserved for play time and first steps. It seems just the other day you were crawling, then walking, and running. Running to catch up. Running to chase the ball. Running to do it first. To do it better. Always wanting to do it better.

I want you to know a few things as you enter this thing called life. You have been here for some time but I see the pressures you will have for rest of your time here, that pivotal moment between little girl and young woman, trying to overstep you. I can see you finding your way and you are doing one heck of a job, daughter.

Firstly, I am unspeakably proud to call you my daughter. You are so logical in your thinking. So artistically eyed. Your beauty comes from within and simply radiates onto those around you. It is such an immense joy to see you give of your talents, to see you bring joy to others. I see you respectful of your elders and gentle with those younger. You have stood up for wrongs and held firm to your moral ground when things were shifting like quicksand. Not many adults can say that. You are ahead of this game simply because you can speak your mind with conviction and respect. A rare trait.

Now, onto some glimmers of wisdom. This is not conclusive as I am still learning myself, but it is what I have to offer you. An open shoebox of some dust catching collectables. Sift through the old jewery and bookmarkers. Broken necklaces and precious earrings. Find the good stuff scrawled on old loose leaf, folded many times. The List if you will.

Always have a good book. Read the fun ones that are like cotton candy but delve into a meaty book now and then. A classic that covers life in all its facets. Read something that takes effort.

Make sure you buy good shoes for running. You don't want to end up with my horrible feet.

Wear your favorite color simply because you love it. Don't be afraid to change that favorite color over time. Opinions change.

Keep up with current events, even if takes time away from Facebook.

Don't play mind numbing games that have little or no value. At least jog your brain with thought games even if it is harder.

Volunteer because it helps others and feels awesome to give back.

Say thank you to God daily for something, even its as simple as the beauty of a raindrop on the window.

Don't doubt your ability to accomplish what He gives you as goals. If God gives you the nudge He will provide the way.

Travel somewhere and take pictures of all He has given you to enjoy.

Feast your ears with God-glorifying music. Listen to things you wouldn't normally pick because there are hidden treasures everywhere. Pay attention to lyrics, because your brain subconsciously is.

Pay attention to what you watch on TV and at the movie theater. Once those visuals are in your head they are there forever. It isn't worth it just because someone said the movie was good.

Read your Bible every day. It will get easier and eventually you will feel like a part of you is missing if haven't.

Write a careful list of the 100 things you want in a husband someday. Be specific. Pray on it daily. No, it isn't too early. When some young man comes along who fits the list you will know God has provided.

If no one fits the list, God still has a plan.

Remember that anyone that asks you to compromise your list for his benefit is probably someone else's future husband.

You are someones future wife and you deserve to be treated as such. You are worth far more respect than some men are willing to give.

Love waits. And then waits some more. Exponentially more husbands and wives have said 'I should've waited.' then have said 'glad I didn't.'

Pay your bills on time and you will not be a slave to the lender.

Buy virus protection and get the extra warranty!

Paint your toes, because it is pretty.

Learn to make bread, can foods, garden, sew, and make herbal remedies for yourself and your family. It is frugal, better for you, and you will feel closer to your Creator when you create things.

Don't ever give up your art. Draw, and sculpt, and paint, and do web design. We are created to be creative and you will thrive when you are using it.

Be polite always.

Smile.

Pray. Everyday. Multiple times a day. Pray for others. Pray with thanks. Pray for you.

Listen. Listen with your mouth closed and your ears open. Listen to God and He will speak to you through His Word. Listen to your friends and you will hear the real problems behind the problem. Listen to your elders because they do have some experience. Listen to your husband someday and listen with all of you, even when it doesn't interest you. Listen to your children even when it is occasionally bothersome. This is called love.

Dress modestly because you are worth it. Your body is so precious and so beautiful and will not be treated with respectful dignity if it is overly uncovered. You deserve to be looked upon with dignity not leered at with inappropriateness.

Own one good sweater, a scarf with a splash of color, and a great pair of boots. You can work those three items in so many ways.

Always carry chapstick, kleenex, and a brush in your purse. Trust me.

White carpet is always a bad idea.

Find a way to fellowship with other Christians. It is so important.

Find a way to share with unbelievers. It is so important!

Worship, Dance, and Sing like no one can see you or hear you. God does and He does matter.

Memorize Phil 4:13, Romans 1:16, 2 Tim 3:16-17, and Jer 29:11.

Read through Hebrews once a year.

Auntie Sara can fill in for me if ever I can't do it or am unable. She is me-thinking and will never lead you wrong.

The Preacher Man loves you more than you know. He worries about you more than the others. Don't forget about him, he has helped to raise you.

Be respectful to your other set of parents, they love you or they wouldn't challenge you so much.

Be kind to your siblings, always. Be honest. Rebuke. Love. In the end they will always be your closest friends and confidants.

Know that no matter what you do, where you go, or whatever choices you make I will love you. I will support you. I will open my arms and feel you next to my heart and they will beat together.

I love you.

Happy Birthday.


Mother's Day 2012


Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)





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Friday, January 18, 2013

Help Mommy Stop It Crying

Regret by Alfred Stevens

Today I had a homeschool mama meltdown. Oh it was a slobbery mess. It was one of those hide in the bathroom and cry into some toilet paper moments. What? You don't have those?!

Every parent of multiple children has that one kid that has to push the buttons. Some of you have an only child that likes to push your buttons. That one child that always knows just which trigger to click to send you careening over the edge of sanity. The kid that can simply look at you the wrong day when you haven't had your third cup of of coffee yet and it simply just ticks. you. off. For no reason. The child that says things that are rude. That acts inconsiderate. Stubborn. Willful. Ungrateful. This child will be bold in his discontent and make everyone know about it. Or perhaps he will cause discontent simply because he can. He will monitor the ebb and flow of your day and when the toddler has tried to clean the toilet (true story), the cat has escaped out the screen door (again), and you have burnt the second batch of cookies for the church potluck he will strike. Like a coiled garden snake. Just a nip. An off side comment about the lunch you prepared. Or a personal correction on how you could have done it better. This child never says I am sorry. He is the one that hurts you to the core and who you pray most earnestly for. He is the one you worry about.

 Now for non-homeschool world this child is difficult. He is the one the school calls home about. The one who got sucked into a game of 'pick on the fat kid' or a child that wrote naughty notes because someone told him to. This child talks back to teachers and stares out windows instead at the board. He is a challenge. He gets several different teachers who will tiptoe around his ego and hold his hand through every problem. They will attempt to build his low self esteem because that must be why he acts out. As a parent at home, you can survive the time the tyrant is home and then breathe when he is shipped off to school to be in some else's hair for a bit.

 The homeschool mom has no such luxury. She will be a target for his misguided actions. He will ignore her careful plans and strive to be busy being anything but productive at his work. He will need almost constant supervision. When you are cleaning up the toddler, writing out math problems for your first grader and cutting up a chicken for supper he will wander from his studies to get the really good color crayons buried somewhere in his room or take a 35 minute bathroom break. He will become engrossed in watching a spider crawl across his bedroom ceiling and forget about his copywork. When you homeschool it is difficult to balance this child that takes three times longer to do everything. When you want to be starting Bible Study he is looking for his Bible becasue he has misplaced it... again. He makes everyone wait. He is often spouting authority he doesn't have. He fails to take responsibility for his actions unless they are golden. Then he doesn't let anyone forget it. It is exhausting.

 Now on the flip side this is that kid with the million dollar smile. He gives it out like a gift. Eyes lit up mischievously. You can't help but love him in his naughtiness. You know there is an amazing potential in this child. One that if directed and guided can be a powerful tool for the LORD. His boldness is celebrated by God. His fearlessness is suited for sharing the gospel in unkind places. His ability to read you can be used for discernment in places of unrest and upheaval. His whimsy will allow him to get lost in God without guilt of all the have-tos and must-dos all of the law abiding, responsible folks miss out on. 

 But oh how painful it is to survive the here and now. How frustrating to feel that you may never see the day this child curbs his sin and instead uses his gifts for God's glory! It can bring a mother to tears. Sobbing tears. In the bathroom. With the Princess Petunia on her potty.

 The Preacher Man peeks in and says : Honey, You are doing an amazing job.

 I feel like I'm failing. ~snot running.


 No, you're not failing.

 He wraps me in his arms. 

If he ends up in jail, will it be my fault?

No, it will be his choice. We will love him just like we love all our children in their messes. And we will visit him. ~ He chuckles.

LORD God, Bless mommy and help her stop it crying. Amen. 

Out of Princess Petunia. I am blessed. I am doing something right.

 In my concentrated prayer time this verse was jumping out at me. I had read it earlier in a distracted sort of way... 
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:7
In fact let's take the whole chunk... How do we get the peace?
6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:4-7
Well, aren't I making my requests known to God? Doesn't He know how painful this parent -child relationship can be? Well, of course HE does! Are we not often just like this spoiled, naughty child?

Which is why we are commanded to let our requests {petitions} be made known BY our prayers and supplication. The World English Dictionary defines Supplication as a humble entreaty or petition. Catch that? Humble. Humble Prayer. And we are to do that humble prayer WITH Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the act of giving thanks; grateful acknowledgment of benefits or favors, especially to God. 

I am often demanding that He fix this child. Or fix me. Or fix us. But I am not being humble in my request. I am expecting that I know better than my LORD. Oh how wrong! And I am forgetting to be thankful. I have much to be thankful for, even with this child that vexes me so very much. 

The Lord goes on to tell me He will give me peace beyond all understanding if I will follow this simple equation. The LORD will guard my heart and my understanding if I am humble before Him and go to Him with thanksgiving.

In conclusion, He gives me the way to calm down those feelings of inadequacy. Of frustration. Of I feel like I am failing again thoughts. He gives meditation tools! 

8 Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ~Philippians 4:8
If my attitude is defeatist I should dwell on things commendable.
If I am at the end of the proverbial rope I should think about the Strength the LORD gives me.
If I have had a day of constant disruption and agonized over language arts just one last time I can take a few moments and  meditate on how blessed we are to pray through those lessons.

 And the Peace will be with me.

 Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)

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Saturday, December 29, 2012

Attempting Organized Planning

I love planning. I like lists of any kind. I love beautiful, crisp pages printed with lovely colored designs. I like to see headings and titles with lines to fill in. I am a sucker for binder with quotes and calendars. I like to color code things and have labeled tabs and dividers.

Those are quotes and a couple love notes from my boys. :)

I like to search out the best of the best for planning pages provided by other planner type people. I have been known to even make my own if I can not find what I am looking for. I poured over websites all summer trying to find ways to make myself more organized. I printed and printed and printed some more! Determined to Be Organized.

Isn't it pretty?
 
With a family of seven, kids coming and going, husband working out of the zipcode most of the time and a homeschool I Need Organization.

I need a plan. I need a piece of paper I can checkmark things off of to say I accomplished something today other that brushing oatmeal out of Petunia's hair and duct taping the sink hose together. I need some guidance that says in non-threatening terms 'Number three under cleaning isn't checkmarked! Please clean the sheets this week!' or 'Prince Ray really needs to clean the cobwebs from his entire room and since he is out of underwear perhaps he could pick up his dirty clothes and place them in the laundry room.' I need to be reminded that the four loads of dishes, 3 loads of clothes hung on the line, bathroom cleaning, meals made, devotion read, homeschool lessons half finished and a moment of scheduled quiet time is A Great Day.

One of 10 calendars in my School Planner... yes 10.

I love lists. I have made lists since I could write. I suppose it helps me break down the million things that are in my mind into useable and workable mini-goals. Then I can systematically check them off or postpone them if I am feeling a bit like Scarlett O'Hara and don't want to think about it till tomorrow.

I do organizing chaotically. Often I have three list going at one time. Not the most productive to some folks but things do get done. Especially when I make Kid Cleaning Lists! :)

The problem is that I love the pretty printables but I can't make them all work. Out of all those beautifully colored daily goal sheets I printed in August when I was determined to break up my day and use every minute wisely I have used two. I couldn't schedule in the time to fill them out! I ended up changing my homeschool weekly planner sheet three times and I am still not completely satisfied. I have tried to plan menus and I just can not be disciplined enough to follow through! What if I don't want to make beef stew on Thursday?! What if we have unexpected company or the basketball game goes late and I can't make spaghetti and sauce?! I have then failed to follow the schedule and then I feel like I have personally failed. I need to find a chaotic-friendly, flexible, organization sheet. For everything.

Notice its is only half filled out... December was a bit lax...

With the coming of the end of the year and the continuation of our homeschool year starting up again in January I got the organizer itch. AGAIN. I'd like to challenge myself to do some more during the day that I want to get done and be okay with what I don't get done. I want to hone those three lists down to one I can manage.

So is planning is it not?

So I began the search and thought I'd share what I found!


If you Blog, here is a nice, simple, free, weekly planning sheet from Living Locurto! Or you could just sit down and write completely unplanned stuff like me....

Find it here.

This is a pretty basic Daily Goals sheet for free. Find it at Life's a Journal!


Freebie!

Plan of Attack for your day! I love these and they are customizable! Thank you Jessalyn at Desiring Virtue!

They come in many colors, too!

Also customizable are the Daily Docket sheets from Money Saving Mom!

Customize!!!

Gricefully Homeschooling has a Mom's Everything To Do List!

A sweet looking little list sheet. I like it!

This is the one for me. I have fallen head over heels with the simplicity of it. And it prints in black and white. ;) Thank you Ann Voskamp from A Holy Experience for the freebie.

Planning Love.

I will sip my morning coffee and fill out my Day's Draft.

I will set daily goals.

I will try to finish it all in the few hours we have during our turn in the sun.

And if I don't complete it... God will forgive my messiness.


Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)
 This post was featured at:
The WholeHearted Home!


Possibly Linking With:
Cornerstone Confessions
Wisdom Wednesdays and Link Up
No Ordinary Blog Hop
Frontline Moms Friday Fun
The Welcoming House

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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Lest You Think I'm Perfect...


In an effort to be as honest and open with my three readers as I can possibly be I thought it best to not let you think I am too perfect.  (wink.. Snort) The LORD likes to keep me humble and provides me daily the things that will keep me from thinking too highly of myself. I mean, when we start to think we have got it all figured out, then we begin to rely on ourselves.
 Danger! Danger! Will Robinson!

Today is as real as it gets in my world.

As mentioned in my post a couple days ago, I am trying to put The Lord first in my life. As part of our homeschool, we read the Bible every day. We actually read out of it several times a day because it is truly the most important textual document your children will ever read and I want to ingrain it upon their hearts from early on. This is not enough though for me, however, as I am an adult and should not be satisfied with the just the playground at the bottom of the knowledge mountain. I need a guided study of my own as well. So this year I have been reading through my devotion every morning, or afternoon, or at least before bed. I have not mastered an every single day the same time quiet time routine for myself because everyday is different. I have absolutely had some dry spots where I slip up and miss a few days weeks but I always hop back on the devotional trail and start backpacking up that mountain again. And it is good!

That being said, just because I want to spend that time with God doesn't me it isn't a fight some days.

I woke up late. The schedule is immediately off. Why late? Well Princess Petunia has bad dreams and after a rough several hours I weakly gave in and let her climb into bed. She slept quite well. I slept with her foot in my lower spine and her random arm flailing most of the night. I thought about hitting up my devotion immediately and but then I decided to get my day moving first.
After my shower, Prince Ray had mysteriously disappeared from doing his before breakfast chores and Princess Peony, the ever responsible child, informed me that he was probably napping on his bed. Hmmm.
Make Coffee. {Thank you My LORD, In complete sincerity, for coffee.}
Text a mom note to Pirate Rob who is already at school. Sign it with 'love you' even though it probably embarrasses him.
Wake Prince Ray up. Give him THE LOOK.
Leave Sir Bean asleep. Even though he has ignored his alarm, AGAIN.
Take Princess Peony to School after checking the weather for a possible snowstorm later today. She reminds me of her basketball game... Mentally schedule basketball game and pray I don't forget it.
Petunia needs cocoa desperately for with her breakfast. Please! Please! Please! MOM!
Make a batch of cocoa because it is nearly gone and this little munchkin loves her cocoa.
Make breakfast.. wait! The oatmeal is almost gone! Make oatmeal mix. Then make breakfast.
Pour second cup of coffee while wiping up spilled oatmeal.
Ask Sir Bean to do his chores, again.
Give Prince Ray THE LOOK again because he is still standing around half asleep scratching his tummy.
Fight Princess Petunia out of her princess pajamas and into a jumper that she hates. VICTORY!
Read a story while she tries to pee... And a fight breaks out.
Prince Ray has toppled his brother, Sir Bean, to the floor and rug burned his forehead, eyelid, and cheek. How dare Sir Bean look at Prince Ray's library book. Apparently we are very territorial today. But finally awake!
For failure to accept responsibility for his actions, Prince Ray is sanctioned to his room amid tears and langauge arts research materials.
Petunia screams "I PEED!" VICTORY again!
Sir Bean grudgingly does chores with his swollen eye claiming he almost went blind. We pray on it.
Bible reading with kids and a project for each of them.
Quickly whip up some granola with help from Petunia who steals the sunflower seeds and sprinkles  them liberally inbetween the counter and stove whilst singing, "I can do it myself. Me. Me. ME!"
Give Petunia some watercolors so I can sneak away and read my devotion...
Sir Bean finds me to fix his pencil.
Pencil fixed, Coffee EMPTY!?
Start caramel corn with the intent to listen to a radio broadcast online. Internet goes out. REALLY?!
Finish caramel corn. Catch Sir Bean and Princess Petunia sneaking bites from on top of the counter. Start Bread.
Prince Ray comes up from his room with a half done assignment and apologizes. Then accuses Sir Bean of making him do it. He goes back into his time out. With Math.
Then they are hungry. Heat up leftovers, serve everyone. Forget myself. :/ Commit to eating better tomorrow. Grab a cup of tea and an apple. And some caramel corn.
Finish bread.
Prince Ray comes up to give a real apology and some of his work done. I forgive. Sir Bean forgives. Victory!
Offer a movie for 45 minutes of quiet time. Yes, I bribed with Veggietales.
Finally got some reading and prayer time in. Thank you Lord for Your patience with me. Thank you for not putting me on the back burner. Thank you my LORD for loving me in my imperfection. Thank you Thank You Thank YOU!


For giggles and snorts I took some pics of my day so far..... :)

That is the second load of dishes...

My very messy kitchen table/countertop/schoolroom...

Not sure how the horses were helping with schoolwork...

Who didn't put their apron away?

Petunia's uneaten portion of lunch. She did eat all the green stuff and most of the cookie.

Will the basket help whoever next walks in the door? Why is it in front of the door?

Basket 3 and 4.

How does this happen to my mirrors?

Library Books!

Art project!

Ivy needs a bath. (tomorrow's list?)

Yes, after my devotion they were jumping off the bed.

Just Like Larry Boy.

Thank goodness for broken candy canes to provide a treat, I wonder if someone sucked on these before placing them Back on the tree.

Did the wise men bring candy canes?

Caramel Corn

Cocoa

Backcountry Oatmeal Mix

Granola

Homemade Raisin Bread

Always Blessed,
Gretchen :)


Possibly Linking With:
Cornerstone Confessions
Wisdom Wednesdays and Link Up
No Ordinary Blog Hop
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